Another Goodbye

I wrote this post 2 years ago, the night before school started.  I can't say I feel much different today.  Some emotions are timeless.  I will admit I've cleaned the post up though. Sometimes when I read my old stuff I think, "Wordy much?"

Read on:

Both my kids are back in school now. 

I told Husband this morning about a friend who is a wreck over her 3 year old's first day of school.  Up popped Oldest from the backseat, "Why, Mommy, why would she be so upset?"  

I tried to explain to her that even though school is a wonderful place for children, it's a time of "letting go" for the parents and that's hard. 

Of course I started crying while telling her.  I could hardly even finish my thought because I was flashing back to HER first day of school and the pain I felt then of letting her go.

This is one of the hardest parts for me as a parent - the letting go. 

I grouse a lot about the other hard things, the day to day difficulties of sun-up to sunset, but that AIN'T NUTHIN' compared to letting my children go a little bit at a time, to become what God brought them into this world to become, which is sadly not to just be my little babies forever. 

And every year on this day, no matter how excited I am about school starting to have MY time back, it hits me:  the start of each school year begins the next step toward their independence, toward BECOMING someone who is not just my child. 

And that hurts so much - no matter how much I know it must happen.  

2009 (year this post was 1st written)

I know someday I'll look back at these years with so much yearning, wishing I could have the time back.  The empty nest years, I've heard, can be lonely. 

So for now, I will cherish them, love them, and maybe squeeze them a little too hard, knowing that today brings - another goodbye.

 
2011 - last year's day before school

 

Now - Summer 2012

 

Comments

[Sandra]

Beautiful post Missy! I have never really felt that way, I'm usually the mom clicking her heels together as they're walking into the school, but I do look at those gentle mothers wiping their tears, and those bitches make me teary eyed...wait, I just used the 'b' word...can I say that here?

[Jennifer]

Oh yes. I wrote something very similar this morning. The letting go is the very hardest.

[Jackie]

The saddest day for me was when my oldest daughter went to middle school for the first day. It was worse than kindergarten... it was then I realized that she no longer needed me the way she used to. She was independent and was making her way in life. College is going to kill me.

[Amber]

This was a sweet post. I was sad when my kids started. But also ready for the peace.

[Rach (DonutsMama)]

Wow, they look so big! I can imagine how much it hurts. We're enrolling D in Mother's Day Out and I'm having a lot of anxiety about it. You just want to keep them close and protect them forever. At least on the days they aren't driving you crazy, lol!

[angela]

Beautiful! I am all teary, and A is only going three half days a week. D not at all. (Which may be invoke tears of a different kind in a few weeks, *wink wink*)

[marie]

I try and get every single thing done during the day so I can soak up the kiddos all night. Lovely words.

[Shell]

Such a sweet post!

All three of my boys have different start dates this year and so it's a slow letting go.

[Ilene, The Fierce Diva Guide to Life]

I am 100% with you on the bittersweet of letting go! It's funny, but each year, there is a different child that I cry over the most - I think it depends on the milestone.
This year, my son is going into first grade, and that makes me weepy. But next year, when the "baby" goes to kindergarten, she will probably be the one I sob over.
Your kids are just gorgeous - in every photo and every stage. Love to all of you!

[Steph at I'm Still Learning]

Though my kids are driving me insane, I know I will miss them a little when they go back. Last year was the first year of full day school for both of my kids. I found myself a little sad for the first few months. Sure, I had more time to focus on other things, but it felt to me, and still does, that life is moving too quickly!

[adrienne]

Missy, they're beautiful! It is so hard to let go. I was always a huge cry baby when I had to say good bye.

I think I struggle with the opposite right now. I'm constantly wanting a break and we just started! how is that possible?? We watched a home video the other day of just two years ago. The boys looked SO little, I was shocked. Time just goes so fast, and I wish I could slow down to enjoy it more.

[Kathy at kissing the frog]

It's especially hard when they don't want you to walk them into school on the first day, and they are only 7 and 8! I feel like they are growing so fast. When you put the pictures of your daughter, you can see how she's grown up so much!

[Jess]

Can I be totally corny and admit this made me teary! I totally hear you! My girls are not even two and I get sad about them growing up and leaving the nest, even though there is nothing I want for them more then to be independent, strong women! Your girls are gorgeous!

[Katie E]

I was kind of surprised yesterday because this was the first year I haven't gotten a little teary when I dropped the kids off at school - even taking my oldest to middle school for the first time!

Love this post - and your girls are beautiful!

[Marie]

Pass the tissues. Murray starts school one week from today, and my husband thinks I'm crazy for being so emotional over it. I cried in Target last night when we bought his school supplies. Now I know there are lots of other moms out there that feel the same.

[Marta]

I keep wondering what in the world is wrong with me that I am not filled with such sadness of that first day. Perhaps because it will be my first first day next week. Perhaps because I send them to daycare every day and my routine will only vaguely change. But I think to myself you're right. This moment itself may not be everything, but it signifies the beginning. The beginning of each passing year, similar to the birthday. Another reminder of another year older, wiser, and one day away from me.

[julie gardner]

First days of school were always a whirlwind for me because as a teacher, I was starting my own year, too.

I had my nerves with which to contend, and then my fears and excitement for my children.

On both their first days of kindergarten, I took the day off (yes! terrible high school teacher missing the first day of school - but my students were generally 17 years old and didn't miss me much).

I walked Jack to school and then Karly the following year. I watched them walk across the kindergarten yard. Saw them tentatively approach kids. Swing on a swing. Wander toward the door of their new classroom.

They would line up. Look back at me.

Wave.

After they'd entered the threshold and the door had shut on my too-big smile, I'd walk home slowly. Enter my quiet (too quiet? perfectly quiet?) house and take stock.

I would laugh. Cry. Breathe deeply and soak up the passage of time. Celebrate that moment for what it was.

It's been ten years and my son starts high school tomorrow.

I don't teach anymore.

But you'd better believe I'll be doing all the rest of it. For sure.

[JDaniel4's Mom]

I spent yesterday morning tearing up off and on. Preschoo is back in session and I so missed my guy.

I would love for yout to link this post to my Back to School Traditions link up!

[Kim]

I have always looked at the beginning stages of entry into parenthood (thinking about it), via pet ownership, or spending lots of times with friend's babies, as the "decompression zone".

At the other end of the timeline, the "decompression zone" is done via the kids being more and more independent. They are out and about more, and with you less. Then, they go to college, and ultimately head out on their own.

I wouldn't say being an empty nester is lonely. I would say it's as full as you want it to be. There is time to really focus on your marriage again, and time to explore your own interests. You also pass into a wonderful period where you can be friends with your children. They generally turn out to be terrific and interesting people. You are still called upon for advice, but their friendship is delightful and priceless.

Yes, it is sad when a season passes, much like summer into fall. But there are always glorious parts to each phase.

[Kristen]

My girls started on Monday and I am missing them terribly. They are extremely happy to be back (the way it should be). We have been go, go, go trying to adjust to the back to school and sports routine. I am really looking forward to the 3 day weekend ahead of us. I already need a break. ;-)

[Hiten]

Hi Missy,

Although I'm not a parent, I can appreciate how this can be difficult. Anyhow, you already know what to do, and by the tone of post I'm sure you will cherish the time with your kids.

[Sad Goodbye Love Letter]

While preparing your Sad Goodbye Love Letter you have to mention that goodbye doesn't have to mean goodbye forever.

[Mary @ A Teachable Mom]

I'm late the party but so happy I saved this post to read when I had some catch-up time. I hate missing any of your posts! I'm right there with you. I'm having so many feelings as my daughters head back to school. I will miss those little faces and those incessantly needy little voices more than I ever thought possible. Who knew I could love so fiercely? I never imagined I had it in me. I'm grateful I do. This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.

[Mercy]

Such beautiful pictures. I love looking back and then seeing how much my kids have grown.

I'm more inclined to push them off eagerly. So many people warned me about the "letting them go tears" but I never had that. For me it was more "who hoo, I'm free, if only for a few hours". Ha. I guess both types are needed.

[Mark]

It's really not easy to let our kids go during the start of the class. Specially when we think if the fact that they're going to face and get along with new kids.