Old Fashioned Summer - What it Means to Kludgy Mom

I've talked before about how much I love Gigi at Kludgy Mom.  And it's not just because she named me a blogger to watch.  She's so helpful.  And witty.  And funny.  And poignant.

And someone I have grown to consider a mentor in my blogging career.  I hope to meet her someday in the not too distant future.  

When you read this post about what Old Fashioned Summer means to her, I think you'll understand why I feel the way I do.  

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When Missy asked me to write for her Old-Fashioned Summer series, I immediately began asking myself the question of what that really means.

My thought is that we distill our own childhood summers down to the most idyllic and vivid of memories, and those form the basis for how we each think about an "old-fashioned" summer.

When I was the age that my own kids are now (9 and 7), our summers were pretty simple.

They consisted of waking up to someone lightly tapping on our front door. It was one of the neighbor kids, asking if I could come out and play.

I would quickly eat breakfast and get dressed before being turned outside to play with the other kids.

We played outside from 8 in the morning until well after dark, returning to our homes just for lunch and dinner. We rode bikes, built forts, made mud pies, put on plays, started and ended 100 games of Mother May I or Freeze Tag, and caught fireflies in jars - all with a blissful lack of parental supervision.

Those carefree days and dusky nights where we played with abandon, with no parent telling us "no" or "be careful" or "stop it," is what defines an old-fashioned summer to me: utter freedom.

My kids have never experienced that type of summer. In Austin, we lived on a through street, and there was no way I would let my kids play on and near the road unsupervised. There were other hazards, too: rattlesnakes. Fire ants. Coral snakes. Blazing heat and stifling humidity. To turn my kids loose on the neighborhood meant risking them being hit by a car, bit by a poisonous critter, or suffering heatstroke.

And so it was for the last 5 summers. Instead of geo-caching, they went to bouncie places. Instead of riding bikes, they played video games. Instead of freeze tag, they attended every free or $1 PG-13 or under movie that was showing in a 25-mile radius.

Until this summer: the summer we moved to San Diego and bought a house on a cul-de-sac. We moved in the day after school ended. With work, a major renovation of our entire first floor, and unpacking to do, there was little time for the summer activities they are used to.

So now, the kids are turned out into the cul-de-sac

I can hear them, screaming and yelling and laughing with the other kids. Every so often, one of them bursts through the garage door, red-faced and out of breath, to ask for a drink or help finding a bike helmet. When it's time for dinner, they don't want to come in. They hurriedly eat their meal and beg for me to let them go back outside, which I do willingly and happily. Many nights are ended with the kids having smores in our firepit, or the firepit of one of our neighbors.

For the first time in their young lives, they are experiencing an old-fashioned summer. If they never attended a summer camp again, if they never saw another movie or cooled off in a mall food court, I would be happy. Because now, they are able to truly taste the freedom that every kid truly longs for, deep inside their young hearts.


Gigi blogs at KludgyMom, a snappish take on parenting and pop culture. She's also the editor of DailyBuzz Healthy Living and DailyBuzz Tech. She can be found on Twitter at @kludgymom and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/kludgymom

Comments

[Kerry Ann @Vinobaby's Voice]

So glad you found that glorious cul-de-sac and your kids have discovered some of the joys of summer freedom. It sounds absolutely perfect! I miss those days.

[Dylan Lin Calista]

I'm a city girl - born and raised in the middle of the hustle and bustle :) but, I have been fortunate enough to live in an awesome area where the bay walk is right downstairs, 10 minutes from my apartment and the park is within the same walking distance.

Almost every weekend, my brother and I would go there to meet our friends for rollerblading, sports and just to play catch...our curfew was 7-8pm and that was okay since we lived next to the park anyway and it was a close knit community. Pretty much all the kids in my apartment building went there.

When we didn't go home on time, my grandpappy would go fetch us and then we'd hide behind trees and stuff, LOL. Good times.

Thank you for writing this. I miss my grandpa :) He's been gone for at least a decade.

[Gigi]

Thanks for having me, Missy!!!!! And for all of your kind words. :)

[Tammy]

I'm a San Diego native (and have moved back to my home town), and your summers and the ones your kids now enjoy are exactly what I had. There were also trips to Grandmas to help in her garden. That was magical, too. Little did I realize I was her labor when her back went out. I was just amazed that food came from the ground!

[gigi]

Wow, you just made me remember working in my own Grandma's garden. Thank you for sparking a memory in me that is treasured!!!

[gigi]

We feel so blessed that sometimes we wonder if it's all real!

[gigi]

My grandparents have been gone for a long time, too. It's awesome to have those special memories to remember them by!!!

[julie gardner]

People should read this post before choosing to move to a new house...

No joke.

When we purchased our current home 11 years ago, we considered only the view (which is lovely) and not the fact that it sits atop a steep, half-mile hill with no houses across the street in an older neighborhood - but not old enough that the first-generation of owners had been replaced by young families.

This means there were no other young children to play with on the block; no bike-riding, skateboarding, roller-blading or scooting on such a drastic incline; no self-generated activities by my kids.

I had to orchestrate every get-together for them for a decade. And we did a lot of playing in our own backyard.

(Which is lovely.)

But.

If I had to do it all over again, I'd pick a house on a cul-de-sac with a ton of loud, creative, active kids playing in the FRONT YARD.

Yes I would.

Thanks, Gigi. Thanks Missy.

I've missed you both while on I've been on vacation from the world...

[Mark]

Sometimes it's the simplest of things that matter. I let my kids play outside whenever they could. Interacting with other kids or making friends with them is something they won't learn in video games.

[gigi]

Amen.A year of summer camp couldn't provide the fun and interaction they've had just playing in the street!

[gigi]

Welcome back from vacation! I know you've written about the travails with your house before. It's hard to account for every factor when you're buying a house, especially if you purchase before you have kids. We've only include CDS as a must-have after buying 3 houses NOT on a cul de sac and learning that painful lesson! :)

[Susi]

This sounds so much like it was for me growing up and we are lucky enough that we live in a cul de sac and the kids can play out there but right now it's soooo hot during the day that they end up in the pool more often than not!

[Kristen]

Your childhood sounds just like mine. I wish my girls could experience it as well but we live in a neighborhood where some driveways are as long as some people's roads and I don't like that I can't see them. We still have to set up play times and drive to and from to make them happen. I'm thankful for the size of our yard. I just wish it was as simple for the girls to have their friends show up to play like it was for me.
Happy your kids found their joy and freedom! San Diego...the only place that would ever make me move away from my parents. I fell in love with it when we went two years ago.

[Jester Queen]

I grew up country, so I never experienced the surrounded by friends part, but I absolutely spent all my time outside.

[Galit Breen]

I get this, Gigi. And I so, so love the way you boiled things down to freedom.

{I think you and I should try to get everything down to its core with one word - deal?}

[gigi]

The cul de sac is amazing!!!

[gigi]

It's been a real blessing. :) There are definitely some benefits to living in a place where you are more separated from your neighbors, though, as it sounds like you are!!

[gigi]

I know, right?! I hadn't thought of it that way, but it's something I tend to do :) and apparently, you too! :)

[gigi]

I really think there's something to be said for just being outside, whether you're exploring nature or hanging with friends. That fresh air and running free....it's good for a kid, no matter how or where it's done.

[Amy @ Counting My Kisses]

Such a fab post, Gigi! And I'm loving your Old Fashioned Summer posts, Missy!

We live on a cul de sac as well, and even though our girls are still young, it already shaping their childhoods. Tons of friends, always someone to play with, older children happily including the younger ones...love it!

[Paula @ Simply Sandwich]

My growing up years were so much the same and I am sad that my kids don't have that experience. We are pretty close to a busy street so there is no way they can just PLAY out there. :( Thanks for sharing this great memory!

[Adrienne]

Ahhh...the comfort of a cul-de-sac would be wonderful!

[NinaBadzin]

Gigi, I like your point that what we probably consider "old fashioned" is a reflection of our own childhoods, which of course our grandparents would find anything BUT old-fashioned, probably our parents too! Meanwhile, my kids probably have a mix of the two types of experiences you discussed. My challenge is that I'm SO not an outdoor person . . . I try hard not to pass that along to the kids.

Also, side note, it took me something like four tries to get this comment to post. Is that dedication or what!?